I started blogging when I trained for my first Ironman in 2008 Some good--some bad--some still the same. I continued to blog while I trained for my last Ironman-Lake Tahoe in 2013. But now, there are no races on the horizon, at least not that require goggles, bikes or running shoes....just life, in a new chapter, with a beautiful addition to what I call family. As with any turn in the road, comes a new start, a fresh perspective and new enthusiasm. This is about ALL of it.
And why not....because do ever really have a better choice?!?
I have been thinking about my long lost blogs over the last few weeks and thought it might do me some good (as it always does) to sit down with a nice cup of coffee, my Mac, and get started again. Funny how I haven't written an entry or ridden my bike since IM Lake Tahoe!! Are they correlated? Maybe....but one step at a time. Write first.......ride....soon! Not ready for THAT saddle just yet....
So, I got hitched (never say never...right?) and added yet another "J" to my string of initials. Jeanne Jones Jenkins......J-cubed.....from j-squared to j-cubed?? Does it have the same ring to it? Is that really where I will end up?!? The name game is a funny one....and I am not quite sure I know how to play it. I am also not sure I want to drop Sajben from my name--given my Dad is pretty much my hero and I have significant pride in my heritage...after all, how many Hungarians are actually in Texas?!? Perhaps drop the Jones... its not who I am any more really. I am proud to be part of the Jenkins clan and my girls will always know I am their momma....so......we will see and time will tell.
Name changes and nicknames are low down on the list of exciting things and merely a side effect of the bigger blessing of our new family---our "blended" family. The whole phrase--"blended family" seems so cliche but it is what and who we are now. And while most of the time its very, very good...sometimes its very, very different. We are ALL figuring each other out..our schedules, our preferences, our moods, our likes, our dislikes, our food preferences, our flexibility....and the list could go on and on. But the highs outweigh the lows and with each day that passes, things continue to get easier and even more enjoyable....for everyone (including me) :)
The house remodel continues but is slow and like everything else right now requires a lot of patience and gratitude for what we are building. I think the funniest side effect has been the relaxed way with which I receive guests into my house of rubble. Ten years ago I always felt like my house needed to be like a model home...all the time....for everyone! That Jeanne is long gone....if you want to come hang out..you are ALWAYS welcome as we have a FABULOUS place to relax and enjoy. I'll fix great food and I guarantee a good time...just ignore the dust, the clutter and overall disorganization. LOL
And finally the new job search begins! Yes.....looking again as I was laid off before the wedding. Oil prices are great at the pump but not so great for the economy and jobs. Many have been laid off from Willbros as the company faces possible bankruptcy. While I loved the work I did and many of the folks I worked with....the environment was never great as the organization was in a constant state of upheaval. I thought I would take March/April to get married, get moved, get remodel underway, get all situated but its time for me to find a job. Its the first time since I was fifteen years old, that I have not been working. And it isn't easy....it requires a different kind of patience and redefinition. However we are already halfway through May and I am feeling ready to go to work. I have never been good at being "dependent" but perhaps that's what God is trying to teach me...its okay to accept help and support. Its temporary...and the work needing to be done at home has been plentiful! I have begun the search and still contemplate and question what the best move is...I am sure it will come to me...as with all other things right now....in time. What DO I want to be when I grow up??
So...many elements of this new chapter. I contemplated a new blog under a new title...but after much consideration realized regardless of where I am or where I go, in the end I will always be Just Jeanne or j-squared because that is where I am happiest.
A week ago today, at this time, I was heading out on the marathon portion of my Ironman Lake Tahoe experience. As this week has passed I've read blogs, posts, threads, comments, etc about the day, the challenges, the experiences, etc. It was cold. It was hilly. The day was long. We are crazy. I finished. There are probably hundreds of race reports that can give you temperatures, percentage grades, elevation changes, interesting anecdotes about naked people outside changing tents, the impact of cold water on virile men, food faux pas, bathroom events, etc. I saw it all, could tell it all, but have a different goal for this recap.
I have spent most of the week thinking about why I signed up in the first place, what it meant to me and why I really have no need to tackle that distance again for a long time--maybe ever. There are three circumstances under which I can see doing it again..but they are very specific and very concise and better saved for another discussion.
So why? Why sign up for a fifteen hour day of exercise? Yes....a day of exercise. To call it a race, unless you are a pro who's paycheck depends on it or an elite who stands a chances of being tapped for a "no" expense paid trip to Hawaii, is a bit of a stretch. For every athlete that stepped up to the beach to enter the water on that brisk day, there is a unique and individual reason for doing such a thing.
For me, it was to remember how tough I am and that perseverance was not something I lost in the divorce. To remember that I could once again start something and follow it through to completion--a skill I felt I had lost a bit in the last two years. To trust in myself again and my abilities. A friend and fellow athlete messaged me prior to the race after reading a post or blog entry I made and asked me..."how could you doubt what a badass you are Jeanne Jones?" Perhaps at one time I believed I was...although badass probably not a term I would choose. But I had a confidence about my abilities, my skills, what I offered in this world and to my family that was fairly unflappable. I missed that feeling and wondered where it went. Perhaps it fades after a process in which everything you knew to be certain or unshakable gets shook and all that you banked on for much of your lifetime (twenty four years) was no longer the same. It rattled things up a bit and with it my sense of my own "badass"edness dissipated. So....instead of reading a self help book I decided to do an Ironman. Not because of the day itself, but because I knew in order to show up at the starting line, the work I would have to do to get there would take me on a return trip to "badass".
I also had a desire to reunite with a community that I had felt separated from--the Fort Worth triathlon community. After spending years establishing myself as a coach and athlete over in Dallas, I wanted to come "home". I left my old triathlon world in June of 2012 (ironically about the same time I signed up for Ironman Lake Tahoe) and purposefully went looking for a group I could just train with, be social with and recapture my love of the sport and the lifestyle. Never to compare HR files, Power outputs, nutrition logs, or any of the metrics that had been ingrained in all I did....but to just train. To swim for the love of it, ride with friends and run because it made me feel free. I found a mosaic of training partners--most of whom were NOT triathletes or Ironmen but found encouragement and progress along the path from all. I did more yoga than weights, had one long bike ride at 90 mi, I only went to Mount Scott once and I NEVER ran longer than ninety minutes--and that I only did twice. I played racquetball and tennis, skied and went tubing on a boat. I ate good food, drank great wine and enjoyed myself along the way. And yet....I finished...and finished strong. Perhaps not fast, but this was never about fast. And while I only coached one other IMLT athlete (who I must add also finished..and finished strong) I watched my friends beat themselves to a pulp with training, riding, climbing, running, traveling in a way I knew wasn't necessary....but this wasn't about that either. ;) They didn't ask and I wasn't offering...just making my own journey. I had trust and comfort in what I knew to be true about training, taught to me by my first coach and echoed in the methods of my current coach and utilized in the way I coach my athletes. With that trust and faith came the ability to enjoy the process and the people I brought along the way with me and keep the rest of my life in balance: time for Abby and Aidan, Cass, family, friends and work.
My "whys" carried me through a challenging day but I never felt like I was wrapped up in the overall difficulty. I took it step by step, stage by stage, probably leaving a fair amount of my emotional uncertainty along the way out there on the course. With each level accomplished I felt stronger and stronger. I had a check list that I kept ticking through: 1) Survived the swim (holy shit...who gets in the water in 30 degree weather surrounded by snow capped mountains), 2) survived loop one on the bike (Martis Camp-the "unknown" variable sucked..no other way to put it), 3) survived the second loop on the bike (kind of like the movie Groundhog's Day), 4) made the bike cut off and onto the run 5) first half of marathon done...by 8pm. It was at that moment that I knew, in my heart and the core of all that I am that I would be an Ironman finisher that day. I had over four hours to finish the event and was running at about a 10min pace--so really only needed about 2:15 hrs. Even if I slowed down and chatted with friends along the course, even as I stopped and hugged my kids and my mom and dad, even as I danced Gangham Style with the volunteers at the aid stations(and YES, I did dance).....I was going to finish. And at that moment, I remembered.....I am a badass! The last thirteen miles were the freest I have felt in three years---free from pain, doubt, fear, regret, uncertainty.....all of it. I could just be me. I was Just Jeanne.
I crossed the finish line triumphant--hearing Mike Reilly shout my name--into the arms of my children who put my finisher medal around my neck. I got a hug and a kiss from my father who's eyes were misty with tears of pride and relief. I hugged my mom who was equally teary but tried to hide it behind her camera as she snapped countless photos. Sure I was an Ironman...but more importantly, came a return of all my confidences in me and what I still have left to do in this world in this lifetime. I know...a lot for just one race, but really three years in the making and part of the process. Mission accomplished.
Some people sign up to do something "hard"--I don't know that I can say it was "hard" The course was difficult and challenging, but not "hard". I consider myself pretty lucky that I really don't have an intimate relationship with what is "hard". Failed relationships, lost friendships, job challenges, financial "pinches", disappointments, humiliating circumstances.... these things are not "hard". Sorry to be the balloon buster....but they aren't. Burying a loved one who is the father of your children...that is hard. Losing a child...that is hard. Sending your spouse, sibling, child or friend off to war to defend our country...that is hard. Watching someone you care about struggle through cancer...that is hard. We exercised for a day, had help along the way from volunteers (mostly strangers) and got a t-shirt, a hat and a medal at the end. I am super proud of my accomplishment but think part of why I made it through the day was I never got wrapped up in it being "hard". But hey....that's just me. As I sit and type that, I am overwhelmed with the thought of that's just life...you keep putting one foot forward, despite not feeling like going on, you just do. Your life isn't hard...its just your life!
So tomorrow starts the next chapter---lots to do: get a job, wrap up some house projects, resume my healthy lifestyle, share it with my kids, Cass, his girls, my friends and family. I feel different. I feel lighter. I feel more peaceful. We can do anything, handle anything and accomplish anything. Its just in how we look at it and how little we decide its "hard".
I still remember when I first learned about Ironman and learned about Team Hoyt almost 10 years ago....I decided to go back this morning and watch the first video I ever saw of this amazing team. I find it inspiring (who wouldn't) but also serves as a reminder as I enter these final days before the race. That remembrance is that 'I CAN". I can do all things...... Its been five (5) years since I tackled Ironman and can say this time around was very different. Motivated by different goals, different set up support networks, different ability to focus on the work at hand....and yet somehow, race day is still upon me and whether or not I think I am ready...its time to start believing that I am and that I CAN.
To say I love my kids is the world's greatest understatement....ever. They are the foundation of just about everything I do. And while I love them equally, they each have brought to my life lessons they may or may not even realize, lessons about how we live and what is possible. I hope I have taught them a little along the way as well, and like Dick Hoyt, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for them.
Abigail is my lesson of unending courage--she's braver than she knows. She is braver than most of the world knows. Of course, I suppose it started as I watched her navigate her illness (for those who don't know-she was diagnosed with MD at the age of six (6)--was told she may not see her 15th bday)-- doctor visits, hospital stays, medications, needles, biopsies, tests, etc. Always a smile...even through those chubby cushingoid cheeks as the effects of her medications took their toll on her little body...but always a smile. And a gratitude...as she watched her dear friend struggle with even more serious issues she would often comment, "Mommy....aren't we so lucky!"
"Yes, Abby. We are."
Even today, as clearly that one doctor was wrong--she'll be 16 in January, she exudes an outer strength that I know overcomes her inner fear. She pushes forward. Hits it head on. Always a smile--even if its manufactured until an authentic one shows up. I take from her courage because I have fear and trepidation about the race. I worry about the temperature, the course, my ability, the time cut offs....all of it. Fearful. But, I look at Abby, I remember what courage and strength look like and I say...'I CAN' As we were booking our flights and lodging for Tahoe, she sat by my side, excited about the trip (and a couple days off school!) and said, with that same childish innocence I saw when she was six, "Mom...aren't we lucky!"
"Yes, Abby...we are."
Aidan teaches me the lessons of laughter and levity. She literally lights up a room when she bounces in--and I do mean bounce. She is carefree, energetic and kind. She defines "Carpe Diem"! I have been told by many she is my mini-me and I'm never more aware than when the highs switch to lows and then back again. I watch (sometimes in frustration) and think....why would you be down or low at a time like this--we have so much to be thankful for....just ask your sister! LOL. But I do the same....so I learn through observation. She has struggled lately with the change of school, difficulty in course work, returning to routine after summer, etc. but more often than not can find the joy in the things she does. I've been a bit grumpy lately as well on many fronts. Grumpy comes from worry and worry causes fluctuations in the optimistic outlook we all strive for....and I seem to spend more time on worry, stress and fear than an Aidan-like "in the moment" outlook. I forget the "fun"--sometimes its easy to do. And it never feels good when she reminds me, "I'm not always the fun Mom"! So as I watch her....I remember to find mine! I do triathlon because it is fun. Maybe not all the time (what is) but more enjoyment than anything else....so FUN! I do this because I CAN!
My girls will be with me on race day, along with my parents and my Iron-Angel Heidi Moore! Without them there, it would be pointless. And while Ironman has changed the rules about the finisher chute and they can no longer cross the finish line with me, I will make sure they know we all crossed it together in spirit---because when we are together, there is nothing the three of us CANNOT do--and I want them to remember it as well.
This Ironman started out with the plan of being my "comeback" race. LOL....comeback from what I'm not really sure...comeback from derailment, comeback from laziness, comeback from sadness, comeback from ....... ??? I thought I would return to the athletic shape I was in when I raced 06-08. I thought I would log every calorie, every mile, every power file, every swim, bike, run I put out there. I didn't--maybe too much stress, too little time, too much Darryl-ing, but what I did accomplish was return to my love of the sport, my love of the people in it (well most of them), and my love of pushing my limits to remind me that there is very little I CANNOT do....and a whole big world of things I CAN do. Its one day. Its one race. Its one reminder that in all things...I CAN.
Giving a lot of thought this evening to the power of recovery.
In endurance sports, it is time taken to dial back, rest and allow our muscles, mind and bodies to reap the benefits of our hard effort. The recovery process should not only allow the muscles and connective tissue to repair but actually improve your level of fitness. The workouts, speed sessions, races etc. break us down and we need periods of recovery to repair and mend the damage done. I tell my athletes all the time, it is during recovery that we actually get stronger.
So...what about in life? I had a conversation today, albeit brief, with a dear friend who told me I needed a little more time to recover. Being stubborn and proud of course I said, well...maybe not so much recover but rebuild. We were talking specifically about life events and the proverbial horse one sometime gets knocked off of, but it got me thinking in more global terms. I preach recovery in athletics but guess I need to be honest about my opinions of recovery in life. You see....I somehow think its weak...to need it and certainly don't want anyone to point out that I need it. I believe one, specifically me, should be able to power through it. Where did I get that idea? And when, did I become such a arrogant hypocrit? ;-) I know on many levels the power and necessity of recovery. Time for some application of the theory!
So when do you know when you have recovered? When are you ready to tackle the next workout? I guess that's where I, as a coach, come in. There are a variety of metrics: heart rate, energy level, mental readiness, etc. that make the judgement call easier but what are the metrics in life? And can I really "coach" myself on this one? Many have offered a prescribed period of time: 6 weeks, 6 months, 2 years? I truly believe its different for everyone. There is no set answer and there is no EASY button. The most important metric being your intuition. Your gut. One day, you're just ready. As in sports, that doesn't necessarily mean you don't have some residual aches or mild pain, but you're ready to get at it again. You're ready for the next session. The recovery has been completed and now time to rebuild.
To rebuild or add onto what was already good ...only now its actually stronger. Stronger from the stress, exertion, pain and effort. Stronger because the time has been taken to allow for the repair to take place that you can handle the next load. Progressively building......progressively strengthening....continuous evolution.....continuous improvement.
Life really is nothing more than one, long endurance training event......its really pretty simple when you look at it. So why do we make it so hard? Experience, recover, rebuild. Lather, rinse, repeat. Going to get my legos now..... wonder what I'll build next.
Arrogance and ego can be very interesting things.....and while you may believe yourself to be a smart, intelligent individual...these two things can derail your IQ faster than just about anything else I know. Allow me to elaborate.....
As many of you may know...I love the sport of triathlon. However, I will confess that since I've been separated/divorced/single (or hell...maybe even before that) I struggled with loving the process of training. Maybe its because the group I was affiliated with had a way of sucking the fun out of it, maybe I let myself get wrapped up in the excuses of life, or maybe I just flat out enjoyed a warm bed over a cold swim, bike or run?!? Regardless...I have spent too much time NOT doing the work to reap the benefits I desire and yet, I still expect them.
That's where ego and arrogance enter into the equation. The fact that I "think" I can be AS FAST as I use to be while doing only a small fraction of the work. And you know what? Gosh darn it.....it just doesn't work that way! And yet time in and time out, in some tiny recess of my brain...I think it will.
Two weeks ago, one of my besties, Kristen (a.k.a. Chippy) was working in Fort Worth, She finished up around lunch time just as I was finishing up and we decided to have lunch. The only remaining commitment on my schedule was to meet my friend Mike Emery for a bike ride at 4:30. No biggie....right? So...off to Brownstone we go for lunch and some patio sunshine. When I arrived, Chippy was having a cold Miller Lite. OK I thought....happy Friday to us!!! I followed in step and we began enjoying the afternoon and the sunshine and the beer and the lunch......soon we had company as Cass' brother Greg joined us. We laughed and hung out and had a great time. At about 3:30 I announce I must depart to join Mike for our bike ride. Both Greg and Kristen look at me with a "what the hell" expression on their face.
"You are going to go ride after having a few beers?"
"Of course...I told him I would and its no big deal really. What's a couple of beers?"
Fast forward about ninety minutes, halfway into my bike ride and I'm uber miserable. Beyond miserable. Exhausted, lagging behind, and feeling oh so stupid. Who exactly do I think I am? Hello? Like I said, intellectually I know better....on many levels I even know better emotionally. But there is some part of my psyche, perhaps simply wishful thinking, that totally and completely believes it will not be any different than it was years ago---when I trained with regularity and consistency. D'oh! Not so much.
As with most things I guess the difference comes in what you do after these "humbling" moments. I had sent Cass a text during the ride that read "discouraged". His response was perfect...."Really?!? What the heck did you expect?" I love honest friends!
So with that ride I reached a new sense of commitment. Ironman is NOT that far away and I don't/can't show up on that day ill prepared. Heck...I am already a bit behind. But....I start. I am more excited about the journey than anything else. I fully expect to have many more days that I really suck and get discouraged! LOL.....but I take them with pride because they remind and motivate me to DO THE WORK. Just DO THE WORK and the rest will take care of itself.
Hmmmmm..........am I still talking about triathlon? ;-)
I am Coach Jeanne.
For those who don’t know me I am a coach, an athlete, a mother, a
daughter, a sister, a girlfriend and a
BFF. For those who do know me….hi…how
are you…yes I know…its been awhile.
I have been a bit distant from the world of triathlon for a
bit---taking a break so to speak. But I
am happy to be back and happy to make Tri Daily my new home. Obviously had a few false starts after leaving Playtri but probably needed the break from any organized group. This group, however, is like coming home. All the good in one place and none of the not so good---like someone commented on Facebook--"putting the old band back together". I come back to the sport with a new perspective---a
new focus of why its important: to me,
my life and to my family . For a period
of time, I let triathlon become about the result—the time, the place, overall,
age group,…… I lost my focus of why I got into it in the first place. I’ve taken some time to remember….and I
remember it well.
You see, triathlon is a more than just an isolated
event—it’s a journey, an accomplishment, a statement to the world that you can
do anything. As a fellow triathlete and
coach I think my new home
encompasses the most important lesson in triathlon and
in life---that with each day that passes, if you try to DO your best, DELIVER
your best and BE your best you will succeed—in sport and in life. With each day you try. You TriDaily.
I try daily to balance my life: career, kids, training, relationships and
time for Jeanne. Some days I do a great
job and everything is humming on all cylinders…and other days, well…I look
forward to bedtime so I can put it behind me and try again the next day. I think the difference comes in how we handle
those days that are not awesome. How do
you bounce back? Do you let one bad day or one bad event de-rail the train or
do you embrace it as an opportunity to learn and find comfort in the knowledge
that the next day you get to try again.
As you travel down your path in this world, do your best to
remember, no single event or day will make or break your success---but your
REACTION to it will. Miss a
workout? Feel bad? Get right back on track and keep moving
forward. Watch any Ironman and there is
story after story of people who met obstacles, overcame challenges and got back
on track. It’s a big part of the sport
and big part of life. Make your excuses your reason….have a new
found zero tolerance for them and remove yourself from people who seem anchored
to them. You will soon lose your
patience for it….watch…you’ll see.
I look forward to new chapters as I too need the remembrance
of what I’ve just written above. So…here
we go. Let us begin today….and from this
day forward…..Tri Daily. J
So....here we at the end of day 3 in Angel Fire and I am just now sitting down....literally! Just as a reminder to all....awesome takes energy!! So far so good but oh so many moving parts. We are in a house with fifteen people (5 adults and 10 kids). It makes me realize that me and the girls are a pretty well oiled machine of three. We move quickly, quietly and with very little discussion or drama....kind of like ninjas! But we are adapting well and enjoying a great holiday!
Its NYE and the house is quiet...many are in bed already while the "girls" are up watching Pitch Perfect (a few of the boys of leering over the loft balcony watching as well but we don't want to offend their masculinity so we'll say is just the girls). I think the year will roll out with very little pomp or circumstance. I am not sure if its the energy required during the day, the fact we had a big fondue party last night, or perhaps at the core, NYE is just another day and when you are tired you are tired. I don't need to see the ball drop or drink champagne or blow into a cheap paper horn....I haven't needed that for many years but certainly don't need it this year. I am exactly where I want to be and feel exactly the way I want to feel on such a day.
Today was a perfect day on the slopes with Abby and Aidan--yesterday was a bit rough for little Aidan but she seemed to turn a corner and was awesome out on the slopes today. She was happy, cheery and one tough cookie as we had near blizzard conditions with cold wind and wet snow but she was all smiles! Abby just gets better and better on her snowboard and I have to admit I thoroughly enjoyed watching her "shred" up the mountain on her board! She was amazingly patient and encouraging with her little sister and we all had a ton of fun on the mountain. The mountain provided a torch parade and fireworks at the base that I took a group of kids down to watch. It was bitter cold but we all focused on the experience and enjoyed every bit of it---it was something to see the ski school staff and ski patrol coming down the mountain with lit torches in each hand. The fireworks were really amazing and lit up the whole sky. The whole thing lasted less than an hour but was well worth it and made for a cool experience and fun memories. We wrapped up the night with steak dinner, chocolate fountain and a white elephant gift exchange! Big fun but all are WIPED OUT!
So...here I sit and type and think. With a day like I had I could care less about midnight...its not midnight that makes the day...its the day and I had an amazing one and I'm all smiles.
I was describing to a friend the other day....I have this sense that I have LANDED. This new life I have created and written about is feeling more and more like it "fits". As the year winds down, I look back at the beginning of the summer and had more "stuff" on my to-do list: 1) Move 2) Fix job situation and 3) Get divorced. I guess my dad did teach me to be a task master....because check, check and check! Some days I don't really feel like I've accomplished all that much but that could just be my style...I mean really, if I look at the facts on paper...I have done quite a bit. And now.....its done and I have "landed". And with each month that passes, life just returns to a state of habits and styles...just new from what I once had but life just the same. Routines and schedules have a way of returning and with them actually comes a bit of peace. Peace in our daily activities but an immense amount of peace in my heart.
It makes me laugh how systematic I really am deep down inside. Sure I try and pass off this spontaneous, fun loving impromptu gal...but really, I am my father's daughter (with a tad more pizzazz!) This year was really a mission: defined statement and objective, full (well mostly full) understanding of mission requirements and parameters (functional, operational and constraints), mission concepts and timeline, mission budgeting, and mission execution. So now I guess I would be in what you call mission evaluation. How clinical? How process oriented? Is this really my life I am talking about? What a geek!! But maybe that's just it....life is a mission: a constant cycle of these processes.
Perhaps 2013 will call for a little less evaluation, a little less stress about the planning or end results and more living. My priorities for the year are merely consistency and stability--really pretty simple. Day in and day out...do what I know is right for me and my girls. We have some fun things planned together--Abby and I are going to NYC in May and will sing at Carnegie Hall, summer trip to Lake Tahoe, return trip to Tahoe in the fall for Ironman, and much more we don't even know of yet. There are also events on their horizon that bring about a great deal of change so my job is to help prepare them for that as best I can--probable school change, their dad's wedding, and much more we don't even know of yet. ;-) I really feel ready for it all--I mean really, what can't we handle?
As for me, Just Jeanne, I have just begun to make my own mental list of what the year will or could be---right now too busy in the moment that is Angel Fire. I feel content and don't really choose to think about much more. I will upon my return to Fort Worth.....afterall, I do like having lists and goals but for now I think I'll just relax, drink a bit of Crown, watch the snow fall and smile.......because I've landed and all is fine.
