Last night I had the honor and privilege to attend my friend Hans Grim's Senior Graduation Concert at Texas Weslyan University. What an amazing compilation of pieces (from The Beatles, to Mozart, to "William" Joel (yes, Billie...guess he's going formal)) and talent. Hans played piano, sang (didn't know he had such a voice), a full sized choir joined in, a barber shop quartet, a tuba player, an oboe solo and a brass/wind ensemble! It was amazing!
I was entertained but more importantly I was impressed. In so many ways, this event WAS Hans' Ironman only possibly better. He had prepared his entire life for this event. Maybe the exact logistics were within the last year but the influences music has had on him began when he was very young. Each piece was picked from parts of his journey. He had trained, and trained and trained and it all came together in a beautiful way. As a coach, I guess you could say, "he executed his race strategy with perfection!" I am so very happy for him.
I was entertained but more importantly I was impressed. In so many ways, this event WAS Hans' Ironman only possibly better. He had prepared his entire life for this event. Maybe the exact logistics were within the last year but the influences music has had on him began when he was very young. Each piece was picked from parts of his journey. He had trained, and trained and trained and it all came together in a beautiful way. As a coach, I guess you could say, "he executed his race strategy with perfection!" I am so very happy for him.
Three songs really moved me in the concert and I woke up thinking about them. I guess I enjoy the expressions in music because the song writers do a far better job than I could putting certain emotions or thoughts into words and song. Maybe I am just corny that way, but I can lose myself in a song if the lyrics are poignant and meaningful to something going on in my life at that particular moment. Truly beautiful music is not only heard but felt and when the singer/songwriter can convey those emotions through the music or performance, it has significant impact. I have some friends, of late, who probably don't understand one ounce of that concept.....I even find myself hesitant to type it because maybe it does sound kind of weird, but I realize more and more every day...maybe I am to. I like what I like, I know what makes me happy, and honestly, I just don't give a shit anymore what other people think about me. So....la la la....back to my music. :)
One song was "Like a Breeze Off the River" from The Full Monty broadway musical. Its a song about a father who often stands in awe and amazement of his son and the gift he is to him. It was beautifully preformed and I looked up the lyrics to understand it more. I think any parent might feel touched by the thoughts included in this song as I did. What did we do to be so lucky to have such amazing little creatures entrusted to us? How is it possible to love someone THAT much--to the point it hurts? I am continually impressed with my kids (as I hope most mothers are) and take very seriously my role in their lives. Its been a bumpy road of late but we're all in it together and everyday I feel so blessed to have them. The final verse in the song really got me--about how even on the darkest days, you have a guaranteed light.
Like the breeze off the river
Every time I see your face
And it's strange but familiar
Like a map of a better place
And sometimes I feel like I live in a shadow
And shadow's all I see
Then you jump straight up
And you grab the moon
And you make it shine on me
Where do you get it from?
Everybody knows the secret
Well I don't and I never did
I don't know any secret
All I know is I love you kid
All I know is I love you kid
All I know...
Every time I see your face
And it's strange but familiar
Like a map of a better place
And sometimes I feel like I live in a shadow
And shadow's all I see
Then you jump straight up
And you grab the moon
And you make it shine on me
Where do you get it from?
Everybody knows the secret
Well I don't and I never did
I don't know any secret
All I know is I love you kid
All I know is I love you kid
All I know...
The second song was a church hymn based on John 14:1. Yes....I know my bible verses, I just don't let on that often. "Do not let your heart be troubled. Believe in God. Believe also in Me." The timing of that remembrance yesterday was pretty key. Funny....how that happens.....you hear what you need to in the almost exact moment you need it. I have enjoyed my journey back to God over the past year but still have a long way to go (don't we all?) but am reminded that also, in the darkest times, there is another light. Or perhaps the one from my children comes from God. Hmmmm........now there is a thought. The church I go to lately is structured very differently from the classic Catholic mass I grew up with. It relies very heavily on music and perhaps a key reason I feel so good when I go. The lighting is fairly dim and I sit (in the same place every time I go, which has been awhile lately) and lose myself in thought and the meaning of the songs. I feel grounded and connected to what matters when I leave so I keep going back. People ask a lot....."what ARE you"? Meaning Catholic, Protestant, etc.........I still don't know how to answer that and on some level, hope I never do. I AM human. I am a follower of God. Don't really want to put any other "flavor" on it. Right or wrong.......the label doesn't match the music.
Finally, the song that hit me the most was ironically the show opener. Hans' son walked out onto the stage and sang an a capella version of Blackbird, by the Beatles. I have always loved this song but its been so long since I've heard it, it too was a remembrance. When is the right moment to arise? Its almost like the bird was waiting for permission.....direction.....orders to go do what its wanted all its life. Do we do that? Wait until someone tells us to go do that very thing we've been waiting for? Have I been doing that? Really?
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free
Blackbird fly, blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night
Blackbird fly, blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free
Blackbird fly, blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night
Blackbird fly, blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
I look back over the past year and while I feel I have made so much improvement in things I can still identify that waiting. Waiting for someone to tell me to fly. Ugh.....time to launch. I saw old behaviors in new friendships---as expressed earlier in regard to music. While I understand its not everyone's thing, at least respect its my thing. Its hard when you share something personal with someone and they dismiss it as unimportant. I had that happen recently, right around the start of lent, and it didn't feel good. It made me look at the person completely differently and remember, I get to decide what makes Jeanne happy--not just a local resident jackass. But perhaps thats a blog for another day....... ha! Back to the music.
As many of you may know, I sang in a concert under the direction of Betty Buckley last March. I have been invited to join her again for her next concert in June. I am seriously struggling with the decision. I really don't have the time--I need to focus on finalizing the divorce, moving, WORK, training for IM, getting girls set up for the summer and the transition to their Dad's move. I don't have the money for the class. All signs, signals and warnings say nope, this is not the time for that. But my heart wants to sing.....my heart wants to be part of something that beautiful again. Class starts next Wednesday.......so there's still time to think. I welcome any input. :-)
So, there are some thoughts on music. God bless the music makers and their gift to our world! Thank you Hans for a beautiful night! The hills be alive with the sound of music..........hmmmmm, maybe it isn't an accident my Ironman is in Austria. Me and the Von Trapp family........
