And now.....the end is here

Yep...its December 31st! I have no official plans for the evening and I'm totally okay with that. I thought in the days and months leading up to NYE, I wanted to celebrate big--larger than life, a real blow out! But, now that the day is here, I think I would just like this year to quietly go away.

I'd like to do something...dinner, game night with friends and/or kids, I even wanted to go paint balling today but couldn't get it altogether--and the weather is perfect! Drat! I will go soon...so if you are reading this and interested, voice up and we'll include you in the crowd. For now, back to NYE and what the end of the year brings.

As I mentioned in my first post, I love fresh starts and new beginnings. Today I think I will focus on the finality of the end, the closure, the putting it down in the books, the swan song, the arrivaderci of it all. What a year.......and what an ending. This holiday season has been riddled with its own set of highs and lows--but in reflection I suppose that's par for the course for the year. Actually its probably par for the course of life. What would life be like without them.........pretty boring actually. So, like the thrill of a roller coaster I guess we just enjoy the ride (even if at times we feel like the whole thing is going to make us throw up).

Every now and then on Facebook I check in on "God wants you to know". I figure, what the heck, everyone else is using social media and networking....I guess if I were the big guy, I would go where the people are. Regardless, this was my message today:

On this day, God wants you to know

... that beginnings are only possible where there are endings. Clear acknowledged endings are as necessary to intelligible life, as pauses between notes to intelligible music. Although endings sometimes feel like the end of you, take them for what they really are, - the end of a stage in your life. Here is to new beginnings!

So, raise a glass my friends! To endings (thank goodness) and beginnings! 2012 is full of possibilities....let the games begin!!

Making a list...checking it twice

Happy Monday....moving a little slow this morning. Not just because its Monday, not just because I had a good time at the Cowboy game last night until late, not just because the holiday menu is getting the better of me and I'm not fueling the old machine well.....nope, just moving slow because that seems to be the M.O. lately. My cough is still lingering and I find I don't have my usual pep in my step but am on a mission this week to find it and bring it home!

I am leaving for Angel Fire, NM on Friday and have a list of things to do this week that scares me just looking at it! As a matter of fact, I did look at it and was immediately prompted to set it on the counter, fix a cup of coffee and write in my blog instead. Its too big, will take too long and I won't get it all done....so I don't start. Ha! Well, this delay is only temporary and once I am finished writing here I am off to work! Its still early and the day, week, remainder of the month and the remainder of the year are right in front of me. So, while updating my blog is not the first item on my list, it does bring me great joy and a bit of focus, I decided to start here.

I don't know too many people who fail to take some time at the holidays and the dawning of the new year to reflect upon their lives, their blessings, etc. I am sure they are out there....those who blow through this season with nary a thought of such things, but I don't know them....or on some level, do not want to. Its too precious a time and too important a reflection. As previously stated, I have obviously spent a great deal of time in reflection over the past several months so I think I've got that covered but it got me thinking about lists. Afterall, what good is reflection unless you take what you have reflected upon and do something with it.

To do lists, honey do lists, bucket list, wish lists, grocery list..........Franz Lizst (ha!)....there are several flavors. I have my to-do lists: Playtri, Family, House, Vacation--these are like operating manuals for the week. What needs to be done, by when, with whom, etc. Nothing very insightful...nothing too reflective....nothing too exciting. I am not crazy about these lists but they are necessary for my easily distracted brain....and keep me on task (for the most part) in my "jobs". I prefer to spend my time on the "good" lists.......

Wish list and bucket list---this is the good stuff! What are my wish list and bucket list items for 2012? Obviously Ironman! I was talking about Ironman last night and realized, almost all of my clients are competing in Ironman next year....and me too! Its an IRON year! What an adventure for us all to share. I would also like to be in a new house in 2012. I like my house but even with the attempts to put up some Christmas merriment, it just doesn't feel like my home. I am excited to get into a new place, albeit small, and make it my own--for the girls and I to put our own spin on it and have it the way we want it and like it. We have all come to realize, at this time, we don't need the space we have and are ready to downsize the square footage and upsize the warmth and love in our abode. I want to do a better job in 2012 being with friends and connecting with them. I have friends in DFW I don't spend nearly enough time with....I hope to remedy that this year. Time passes quickly and lives are busy...but a phone call or a quick visit often takes less time that updating your Facebook and far more rewarding. I am hoping for a simple year--with minimal chaos, minimal drama and a much slower pace. I am less concerned with where I go and more concerned with what I accomplish with myself, my family and my business. It will be a year of working hard and building new and exciting opportunities.

Over the holiday break I plan to formalize my "list"--the process of goal setting for the new year is actually a pretty fun one and I look forward to taking the time to do it. As for today....I need to get working on my Christmas card list.....perhaps this year I will actually send some.

Next stop....

They say you can't really start a new journey until you have finished the last one....but what about layovers and extended stays? Vacation add ons of sort.....Well, this wasn't much of a vacation and I am ready to pack my bags for a new destination.

I have been blessed with the opportunity (you like that positive spin ??) to strongly contemplate new beginnings and moving on and thought I would take some time to write about them today.

I believe moving on requires taking time to learn from the lessons of the last journey and making a conscious decision to apply that learning going forward. Sometimes this is easy, when the lessons are clear--remember the days of childhood figuring out what was hot (ouch), what was cold (brr), what would happen if you tried to mouth off to your older brother (super ouch). Those lessons were often, immediate, heightened, and had a significant emotional or physical impact. That's HOT--don't touch it or Wow--getting punched in the arm from my older brother hurts! Pain is a teacher and has purpose. However, as we get older, the lessons are sometimes a bit more complicated to decipher --requiring more thought, analysis or purposeful thinking. As I embark on a new journey, I wish the only lesson to learn from the last one was, "that was HOT...ouch....don't touch it again". Hmmmmm.....maybe that was the lesson.....

Lesson application can also be a slow process because some learnings morph into a different appearance, only to get part of the way through it and realize, deja vu! I have been here before and I know what to do--change paths, punt, about face, etc. I tend to get frustrated with this process but can't seem to avoid the pitfall. I think that is basically because, as humans, we are creatures of habit. We all have our story and that program is usually the governing body of all decisions. To make NEW decisions, we often have to change our story---and that I am learning, is one of the hardest tasks of all. I guess its not a new concept--after all, there have been religious wars going on for centuries in the middle east because one side has their story, and the others theirs, and never the two shall meet. It happens all the time...and despite our efforts to try and really understand, empathize and respect another's story, if it doesn't resonate with ours, our mind dismisses it--consciously or not.

So with all these obstacles....how does one pull out of the new station so to speak? I think the answer is simple but perhaps the process is difficult. The answer: because we decide to. We make the choice. Just do it! Take the plunge. The journey of a lifetime begins with one step.....The HOW is easy. Its the timing, reasoning and overcoming of fear that needs management.

Well, I have no fear. I am done, dealt with, washed the clothes and already put them up from the last trip (maybe the suitcase is still in the hall...but its empty...or waiting to be packed). Time to go...and as this relates to Ironman, so far so good on this week of training (don't burst my bubble by telling me its only Tuesday). I am batting 1.000 and plan to keep it that way. And if I don't, I'll try again.....tomorrow.

All aboard!!!

Free as the air we breathe

Happy Weekend! I am listening to the rain fall outside thankful I don't have to water my grass (why I did winter grass again I will never know) and hoping rain here means snow in New Mexico---where I am headed in thirteen days to take my girls skiing and snow boarding. Skiing for me and Aidan (a first for Aidan) and snowboarding for my Shredder Betty Abby! There is a fun group from Fort Worth going at the same time so we hope to really kick off our holiday fun in White Christmas style!

I know this blog is about my journey to Ironman but I am off to a bit of a rough start. I have been plagued with some sort of bizarre respiratory infection/issue that is really starting to just piss me off! I would say "pardon my language" but it really is making me mad!

Here's a typical scenario: I feel fine except for this tickle/irritation in my bronchial passages. On occasion I will begin to cough. When I do...the cough completely takes over and my airways completely close up. I turn dark red/purple in the face, gasp and wheeze for air until they calm down and open back up again. Sometimes that passage and wheezing is so strong, it triggers a gag reflex and I throw up a little. Yummmmy.....bet you didn't know this blog would be so descriptive. I went to the doc AGAIN as I am not really getting better and was tested for Whopping Cough. Yes, whooping cough!! I thought that was eradicated in like the 1920's! Seriously?!? I have inhalers, antibiotics, more inhalers, nebulizers, oral prednisone....you name it and yet.....when the cough starts....there is no stopping it and the series of events described above. Now.....add to that a run or bike, in our recent weather? Yea....not so much. So, I'm getting frustrated and fluffy around the middle!!

This minor health annoyance (and it is more an annoyance than anything else) combined with the issues we had with one of my dogs, Dakota over the past 17 days has created quite a challenge to my training environment to say the least. For those who don't know, Dakota (and his brother, Dodge) got out of our backyard on November 16th and were picked up by Animal Control on the 17th. How they got out we do not know--it is a locked yard. When they were found their collars were missing. Collars that had tags on them that would have made the dogs easily recognized and hopefully returned. Upon return home, Dakota bit my Dad who had just arrived from California for an eight (8) day visit and Grandparent's Day. After 16 stitches and a four day stay at Harris downtown for a secondary infection, we ate Turkey and he got back on a plane and went home. Needless to say, not his best visit to Cowtown. :-( . Dakota was quarantined by the City for ten days. When he returned home he continued to show aggression and almost bit Abby while she was petting him. Had it not been for her quick reflexes and our other dog, Dodge jumping in, I am pretty certain he might have gotten her on her face. She was trapped in the corner, at eye level while the dogs fought. Dodge pulled away with a damaged ear, Abby got away with a horrific and traumatic experience and I made the decision to put Dakota down on Thursday, December 1st. Probably one of the most difficult choices I have ever made and certainly not one I made lightly. I discussed with our vet and other animal professionals--if you disagree with my choice please do not feel the need to post here. I made a choice for my family and unless you live here...you really don't get a vote. :-) I cried hard. I cried very hard. It was difficult but I have no regret in the decision. One of many difficult tests of recent months. I was with him the entire time and held his head in the end. I am even crying a bit just relaying the story. I loved Dakota however I love my children, and the children I welcome into my home, more.

So, while these events (and others I may choose to share later) that created a distraction to my training may seem like excuses, I guess it is part of my journey. How do you find the way to just do it anyway? To get the job done so that on July 2, 2012 in Klagenfurt, Austria, I lie exhausted on the field of battle....victorious. Well......I guess you just do. And on the days you don't.....you try again tomorrow. Everyday...you just try a little more. That's all we can do.

Time for another first

In a lot of ways I think I am ramping up for December 1st---why? Because I like firsts. Some may say its because I'm so competitive but that isn't it. It's because I am rejuvenated by new beginnings and while you can create those in your head at any time, I sometimes need the help of a clean calendar.

Turn the page

Start fresh

Try again

(The ONLY thing that could possibly make a first even better?? Is when it lands on a Monday! Ooh boy that's a double dip!!)

For now, I have to settle for a Thursday but that is okay because I am ready. You see.....seven (7) months from Monday is Ironman Austria, July 1st, 2012---my second Ironman endeavor! I am officially signed, sealed and delivered (i.e. paid) for my next Ironman race.

Ironman Austria

Thank goodness adrenaline served the better part of reason or I would have calculated the conversion rate of euro's to realize this endeavor comes at a heftier price than my North American Ironman! For those close to me, it will come as no surprise that I am not worried about it! I have lots of time and there is money to make between now and July!

So after several extremely stressful weeks I chose to focus my eyes on a light...shining off in the distance...Ironman. Psychotic to some..yes. Therapeutic for me...no question. But it feels good so I am heading off in the direction of that positive beacon. On many days in recent past, I needed the light because frankly, it couldn't get much darker. I have had help from true friends and my family along the way.....my own personal luminaries to help me find a brighter path in dreary darkness. For all of them...I am eternally grateful.

I look forward to sharing this journey with those who care to read about it. The journey to my next Iron adventure and the lessons that brought me here, the ones I learn along the way and how I feel when I end up at the finish.

This is my story. I am J-squared.